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Whether women have or don’t have the right to be late (even for their wedding), it doesn’t matter. The point is, both men and women can be habitual late comers. There’s something more about being a habitual latecomer than just a faulty alarm clock, a hang-over, the blasted traffic, surfing the net till three a.m. or any other reason that is to blame. For habitual latecomers, the problem is more of psychological and emotional. May I repeat–we are talking of habitual latecomers here in Comstock.
I am sure you know them: people who arrive 30 minutes to an hour late, people who are always late, never mind if their appointment is just three blocks away from where they are coming from!
Countless studies made psychologists come up with different reasons why people become habitual latecomers. Here are five:
First, the desire to be above reality – This may be hard to believe. One theory is that habitual latecomers have a subconscious desire to prove to themselves and to those around them that they are above reality: that they have their own perception of time and even their own ethics. Most habitual latecomers believe that there’s nothing wrong about being late, about making other people wait for them. What is important for them is that they arrived!
Second, Freud’s finding – Sigmund Freud was among the first to analyze the psychology of habitual latecomers. In a breakthrough experiment, he gave several people their own stopwatches. They were then instructed to stop their watches every ten minutes. Amusingly, the habitual latecomers in the group likewise stopped their watches late! The test results proved that habitual latecomers have their own perception of time!
Third, the childhood connection – It is believed that kids who had difficulty with toilet training, finishing their food or sleeping are the ones who become habitual latecomers when they become adults. That is because, as kids, they associated certain times of the day with the difficulties and discomfort they experienced. In the child’s mind, he may be thinking “10 a.m. is when I will be forced to take a bath, one p.m. is when I will be forced to take a nap, six p.m. is when I will be forced to relieve myself before I go to sleep…” Therefore, the child subconsciously thinks of ways to stop the clock so that those dreaded times won’t come!
Fourth, self-esteem – Aside from childhood hang-ups, being habitually tardy was also found to be connected to a low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem may unconsciously find ways to feel important and powerful. One is by making other people wait for them. In their mind, they believe that “I am important. Even if I always arrive late, they will still wait for me. They enjoy my presence so they won’t mind if they always wait for me!”
Fifth, discipline deficit – The lack of discipline is another reason for being a habitual latecomer. A person who grew up in a household where he was seldom or never assigned responsibilities will find it hard to handle responsibilities when he grows up into an adult. He won’t care if he arrives on time (or if he arrives at all) for appointments. He won’t be bothered if he can’t submit projects and assignments on the given deadline.
Continued in Reforming Habitual Latecomers Part Two
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